Ok, confession time. I have a secret. Not many people know it, and I think it's about time I share it.
Believe me, I know that that might seem arbitrary or completely unhelpful, or even straight up unbelievable, but hear me out:
When I'm in the darkest points of my life, when I struggle to so much as function like a human being, there is one thing that sustains me:
I know it isn't going to last forever.
Whatever it is you're trying to bear,
whatever treacherous road you've been called to walk down,
Listen to me:
It might not be ok now.
It might not be in a week,
or a month,
or a year.
But it will be ok.
This is a short and sweet post, but it's one I needed today, and "ye may suppose this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise." (Alma 37: 6)
This storm will calm.
This nightmare will end.
This turbulence and fear will be replaced with peace and comfort.
I've got nothing against plastic eggs or chocolate bunnies, and I definitely don't have a problem with families gathering to celebrate a holiday centered on something so sacred.
But we're doing it all wrong.
If you type "Easter" into Google, this is what you see:
It's cute, it's colorful,
And it's completely missing the point.
I love the Easter Bunny as much as the next guy, but we all know that Easter is about plastic eggs in the same way Christmas is about stockings by a fireplace:
It's not.
These holidays were created for one reason and one reason only.
Christ.
You may be saying "Duh, I know that."
Awesome. It's great that Easter is a time for you to think about Christ's Atonement and Crucifixion and Resurrection.
But we're still not quite there.
Think about skipping a rock on a pond.
Simple enough.
Ok, now what kind of rock was it?
How big was it? What color? What shape?
How many times did it skip?
Now you have so much more than an idea.
You have something a lot more real.
Now tell me how the rock felt in your hand.
Was it chalky? Slick?
Did it have divets that you grazed with your fingerprints?
Was there wind by that pond?
Did it pull at your hair, causing some of it to dance in your peripheral vision while you lined up the perfect shot?
Did you hear your sneakers crunch on the gravel as you pulled your arm through, ending with a flick of the wrist?
What sound did the rock make when it hit the water?
Was it a slap? A scuff? A delicate plop?
What did the ripples look like as they faded from the pond's surface?
Did they cause a nearby water lily to jostle on the small wave?
Did they intersect and blend together before disappearing?
Did you miss them when they were gone?
How real is that experience of skipping a rock on a pond to you now?
It's the same thing with Christ.
It's not enough to throw the terms Atonement and Crucifixion and Resurrection around on Easter.
As President Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles said in this month's General Conference:
It's not enough to eat a big meal with family.
It's not enough to have lilies on the table or colored eggs in our fridge.
It's not even enough to smile on Easter and say "Jesus died for me," or "Jesus was resurrected."
We need to stop celebrating Easter
and start worshiping our Savior.
Make His life, His words, His actions, His suffering, His death, His resurrection, His promise of eternal life real for you.
Think of the roughness of the wood against His skin as he was forced onto the cross.
Think of the tenderness in His voice as He said Mary's name.
Think of how, amidst suffering more than we can ever comprehend, He thought of you and decided it was worth it.
Take the time today to remind yourself of why we have this holiday in the first place.
Read Matthew 26-28, Mark 14-16, Luke 22-24, John 18-21, Mosiah 13-16, 2 Nephi 9-10, and 3 Nephi 9-11.
Pray to your Heavenly Father and express your gratitude for your Elder Brother who was willing to do so much for you so that you could see Him and your Father again.
I usually aim my posts toward girls (with this one exception), because we're the ones who suffer the most from unfair stereotypes, unrealistic expectations, and pressure from the media, right?
Wrong.
Females do not hold the only right to self-esteem struggles, negative body image, or damaging comparison to others.
Men have a lot stacked against them, too.
Ladies, picture the perfect man in your head.
Gentlemen, picture what you imagine that is to them.
I assume you came up with something along these lines:
Now let me ask you this:
What's the difference between expecting guys to look like Zac Efron and expecting girls to look like Megan Fox?
The girls are allowed to be upset about it.
Let me explain:
Girls, how many times have you heard/said that media is unrealistic/unattainable/puts pressure to look a certain way?
How many times have we as women joined together to reassure one another and help boost each other's self-esteem?
And how many times have guys done things like that?
Exactly.
There is no support there for guys who struggle to accept themselves.
And that needs to change.
A study at Bradley University dug into male body image, and it has a lot of good stuff in it (see the whole thing here), but this particular quote stood out to me:
"Men tend to seek treatment, counseling, or positive solutions less frequently, or they hold off on doing so out of shame and embarrassment."
(Burlew & Shurts 2013)
How awful is that???
How would you feel if you found out a friend you love has been hiding her body image problems, resorting to eating disorders and other extreme measures to try and change the way she looked to fit the ideal that is in her head?
Horrible, right?
Well, what about the guys?
"95% of college age men are dissatisfied with their bodies on some level.”
(Daniel & Bridges 2013)
Girls!!!
We need to do something about this!
I want you right now to thing of a guy you love.
It can be your little brother, your dad, a friend from your childhood, your boyfriend, your fiance, your husband, your nephew, your grandpa.
I want you to picture the times they made you feel warm and safe and loved.
Remember the times they helped you know that you were great just the way you are.
Now I want you to think of what you can do to help them feel that way too.
Everyone deserves to know they are amazing and loved and beautiful and incredible exactly as they are.
Men included.
Ladies, it's time to step up to the plate.
We've gotten better at supporting one another and helping each other feel loved and beautiful and confident; now it's the guys' turn.
Guys, you are incredible.
You are talented.
You are handsome.
You are loved beyond comprehension by the King of Kings.
You are amazing just as you are.
I promise.
Burlew, Larry D., and W. Matthew Shurts. “Men and Body Image: Current Issues and Counseling Implications.” Journal of Counseling & Development 91.4? (2013): 428-435. EBSCOhost Business Source Elite. PDF file. 8 July 2015.
Daniel, Samantha, and Sara K. Bridges. “The Relationships Among Body Image, Masculinity, and Sexual Satisfaction in Men.” Psychology of Men & Masculinity14.4 (2013): 345-351.EBSCOhost. PDF file. 27 June 2015.
To celebrate this momentous occasion, I decided to give something to YOU:
100 Reasons to Love Yourself
If you're ever struggling or having a low day, if you ever find yourself coming up short when trying to think good things about yourself, look no further than this video right here. There are 100 reasons to choose from.
A HUGE thank you to everyone who helped make this possible!!
