I Give You Weaknesses

I love having this blog, and I am grateful for any influence for good it makes on others. I know any influence I owe to God alone and not to myself, for He is the one who has given me everything I have. He has given me talents and experiences and strengths with which to bless others, and I am so so grateful that I am able to be a tool in His hands in even some small and simple way. But God doesn't only use our strengths to bless others.

I think God uses our weaknesses to bless others, sometimes even more than our strengths.

How often have you heard something that someone is struggling with and felt a relief or comfort because it is something that you're going through too? How often have you found out that someone who seems to always have it together is human and makes mistakes? Does this diminish how highly you think of that person? I sure hope not. I hope it makes you appreciate that we all are here to grow, that we are all on the slow trek to perfection together, that not one of us is above the other.

Everyone has weaknesses. Learn from them. 

Strengthen each other through them. 

Love each other in spite of, or better yet, because of, them.

Ether 12:27 in the Book of Mormon says "And if men come unto me I will show them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

You are supposed to have weaknesses. Be grateful for them.

Anytime God has made me aware of my weaknesses, I have never felt worthless or inadequate. God allows you to acknowledge your weaknesses as places that can be made strong through the grace of God and through a little work and faith on your part. However, anytime the world has made me aware of my weaknesses, I have felt worthless and inadequate. Satan would have you believe that your weaknesses are permanent imperfections that prevent you from being who you need to be.

This is a complete lie.

Weaknesses are not incapacitating. They are not patches of quicksand preventing you from reaching your divine potential. They are not mistakes.

Weaknesses are key elements in God's plan for you. They are there as part of a path to perfection. They are there to lead you to Christ.

Allow Christ into your life. He has already paid the price for every mistake, every shortcoming, every weakness. All you have to do is repent and accept his Atonement and his grace.

Give yourself to God, and He will make you strong.

I can be impatient. Sometimes I throw a pity party (complete with lots of ice cream) instead of doing something about my problems. I can lash out at those I love. Sometimes I hide all of my emotions and don't ask for help when I need it. I can hold onto things God has told me to let go. Sometimes I eat frosting out of the can with a spoon (but we all do that, right?...right?).

My point is, we all have weaknesses or things we need to work on. I am grateful for every single one of mine, for every crack in my armor is a place God can let His light in.

God's Timing

Okay, so this is something I really struggle with, especially in one certain area. I've always been a hopeless romantic, a devoted watcher of rom-coms, a reader and writer of cute scenes where something happens between two characters and you know they are meant to be. As a result, I am somewhat impatient with relationships, or rather with my lack thereof. 

There will be moments when I get really frustrated, and I ask God what my problem is, why no guys ever seem to like me or want to go on a date with me, especially since my journey over the years has led me to see myself as a daughter of God. If I am so precious in His sight, if He can see all my good qualities, and if I am starting to see them by relying on Him, why does it seem that no one else can? I get lost in the idea of getting swept off of my feet, and I become rather disappointed with reality. Despite the frustration, I know one thing for certain:

God knows a heck of a lot more than I do.

As hard as it is to accept sometimes, I know that if nothing is happening with a guy, then nothing is meant to happen with a guy. I'm going on an eighteen month mission relatively soon, so I'm not really looking for anything serious right now, but beyond the practical reasoning, there's something greater that brings me peace when I feel like nothing is happening the way I want it to, and that is my (I'll admit, slowly accumulated) confidence in God's timing.

God knows what is best for you, and if you let Him, He will make that happen.

I've been a witness to this very thing before. I wanted to sign up for a humanitarian trip to Belize through HEFY, and when I got on mere hours after sign-ups opened, there was only one spot left. I rushed to fill out the application, but as I clicked submit, I was told that the spot had been filled. Devastated, I hurriedly e-mailed and asked to be put on a waiting list, but I knew that the chances of getting into the session in June that I'd wanted, or even into the country I'd wanted, were slim. I was upset that my attempts to be involved in a worthy cause had been frustrated, and I was confused because I'd felt led by the Spirit to this particular humanitarian trip and I felt that it was right. 

But God knew what He was doing, even if I didn't.

A few weeks later, a spot opened up in for the July session of Belize. Although the timing wasn't ideal (haha I actually thought I knew when timing was/was not ideal haha), it was the country I'd felt impressed to go to, so I accepted. Fast forward a few months. My family was going to Utah to visit family, and I was flying to Belize straight from there. We arrived and had a lovely day filled with family. The next morning the unthinkable happened. My sweet Grandpa was hit by a car while riding his bike, and passed away. It was a severe blow to my family, and it was so hard to see my Grandma, Mom, and other family in that much pain. Still is. But through the grief, we counted our blessings and thanked God. My family, who lives over 1,000 miles away, had been there for a full day of celebration and love with him before he passed, even though there was a time when we weren't sure we could make the trip. Even more humbling, I fell to my knees in gratitude when I realized that if I had gotten into the session for HEFY that I had originally wanted, I would have not been there. I would have gotten a call (through our leader's phone, since mine wouldn't work there) telling me my Grandpa had died, and I would have no family around me to mourn with.

If the timing had been up to me and not God, I would have never gotten that last hug, that last smile, that last "I love you."

Even with faith, it's still hard sometimes.

I don't always agree with God's timing or see why it's better right away. There are still some things I don't understand. 

I don't understand why my Grandpa was taken so early and abruptly. I don't understand why something I had great hope for last year crashed and burned, hurting me instead of giving me strength and experience. I don't understand why some things don't work out. 

But I have faith that God knows best, and that one day,

even if that day is months or years away,

the pieces will fall into place.

Have confidence in God' timing, and have patience as you wait for that "someday". Believe in a perfect plan. Remember that God knows more than you do, and be grateful every day for those things in life that seem like setbacks, but could in reality be a launching point toward a much brighter future that you haven't even dreamed of yet.

If you need me, I'll be patiently waiting.

Okay, semi-patiently waiting and praying for more patience.

Still working on it.

Falling In Love

When you love someone, you begin to notice the little things that make them beautiful. Their little habits or quirks, the certain look they get in their eye or the way they do something that is entirely and beautifully their own.

Have you noticed that those you love become beautiful? 

And that beautiful is an entirely different beautiful than is portrayed in the magazines or on TV. Falling in love means falling for all the little things that make that person who they are.

I challenge you to fall in love with yourself.

You heard me. I want you to fall in love with the way little lines appear by the sides of your eyes when you smile at everyone you see. Fall in love with the little bits of paint you find in your hair from when you were losing yourself in your art. Fall in love with the way you throw your head back all the way when you laugh at your little brother's knock knock jokes. Fall in love with the way your face flushes when you get excited during a presentation on study abroad programs. Fall in love with the way you tap dance in your sneakers to the beat of the music playing in the grocery store. Fall in love with how gently you handle your new niece as you dream of one day having your own children. Fall in love with how you curl up in an oversize sweater and messy bun to read in a corner by the window on a rainy day. 

Fall in love with those things others fall in love with about you. Fall in love with what makes you you.

Jeffery R. Holland, an apostle in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, said in a General Conference talk, "A woman...once wrote...that in her years of working with beautiful women she had seen several things they all had in common, and not one of them had anything to do with sizes and shapes. She said the loveliest women she had known had a glow of health, a warm personality, a love of learning, stability of character, and integrity. If we may add the sweet and gentle Spirit of the Lord carried by such a woman, then this describes the loveliness of women in any age or time."

You are lovely. You are worth loving. You are loved.

A being of infinite power and wisdom knows your name and knows everything you are now and can be someday through the help of His son, Jesus Christ and his infinite Atonement. He loves you more than you can ever comprehend and He wants you to feel love for yourself too. I know from firsthand experience that if you pray to God asking to feel of His love, you will be encompassed with a feeling stronger and more pure than you've ever felt - The Holy Spirit witnessing to you that the God of all heaven and earth knows you individually and loves every. single. detail.

Fall in love with yourself, and learn to see yourself the way you truly are: capable, wonderful, beautiful, loved.