You Are Not Alone

You are not alone.

I'm going to say that again, because a lot of people need to hear it,

 and it is very easy to think otherwise:

You are not alone.

I believe in a God who never abandons His children, and in Jesus Christ, who experienced every trial, pain, and sorrow we will ever have in Gethsemane and therefore knows exactly how we feel.

I believe in angels, both regular people God nudges my way when I need them most, and angels from heaven, who protect and comfort me in ways I don't fully understand.

In the last few weeks, I've truly felt angels all around me, bearing me up through a really difficult time. I received never-ending love and support from my family. God sent me a friend who understood what I was going through, who would be there for me as I will be there for her. There have been others - a smiling stranger, a kind complimenter, a tight hugger - that have been angels to me.

When you're having a hard time, find your faith, and look around.

There are people God has placed in your life to be your angels.

I have been so blessed by the angels in my life - friends, family members, teachers, mentors.

And there have been other angels, angels I have felt, but not seen.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we often talk of "the veil," - which is what we call the division between what we see in this world and the heavenly things that exist beyond our sight.

There have been times in my life where the veil has felt no thicker than a piece of tissue paper, when those who have passed on or not yet been born feel nearly as close as those I see walking beside me.

The world will try and get you to doubt, but have faith.

Choose to believe in the angels that are all around you.

When you feel that you are alone, remember:

You have family and friends who love you and are there for you.

You have a God who will send you comfort, love, and direction in your life.

You have a Savior who is constantly reaching to you with outstretched arms, waiting to wrap you up in his perfect understanding and love.

And you have angels all around, friends you can't see, but who protect, guide, and comfort you in ways you may never fully be aware of.

You are not alone.

You are not alone.

You are not alone.

The Continual Process of Accepting Yourself

I hope that you're aware that learning to accept and love yourself is a process.

It's not something that happens overnight, and it takes work.

But there's one key factor to accepting yourself that most people don't realize, that I myself am just learning:

It's something you have to do over and over.

You might think: "Wait a minute, I already accepted myself. I learned how to love myself as I am. Why would I have to do that again?"

Because, darling, you never stay the same for long.

You are going to change. A lot.

There will be a time in the future, maybe the not-so-distant future, when you look back at who you used to be and are floored by how different you've become.

Your interests could change; your looks could change; your abilities could change; your desires could change; your circumstances could change.

And those changes aren't a bad thing.

I've experienced a lot of changes this summer, and for the most part I have been struggling for months to recognize and accept the mess I'd become.

I was trying desperately to get back to who I used to be, thinking that was how to "fix" myself.

But what I didn't realize is that I can't go back to who I used to be,

and that is a wonderful thing.

Changes can be beautiful. They are necessary. If you went your whole life without changing, I would say that you have completely missed the point of this beautiful life we've been given.

The fact is, I'm a different person than I used to be. And I will be a different person in the future than I am now. And I have to learn how to accept those new versions of myself, just as I had to learn to accept the person I was before.

You are a masterpiece.

You are unique and extraordinary.

And you are a different extraordinary masterpiece than you used to be.

So learn to see yourself, the self you are right now, as someone to celebrate and accept and love.

Because you, the messy, changing, transitory you you are right now, is beautiful.

Simple Gratitude

Hi y'all.

This is the last late post before I get back in a regular schedule, I promise.

I don't have a lot of time, but I just wanted to remind you of  something:

The world can be dark at times, both the world around you and your personal world within you.

It can be easy to be overwhelmed, and I'm not saying that you don't have the right to be hurt and upset and worn out and just done sometimes.

But there is always something good just waiting for you to see it.

Maybe you have a cloud of despair that you have to burn through first, but when you do, there is always sunlight on the other side that has been shining there the whole time.

We just have to look up and see it.

Here are some things that I'm grateful for today:

1) My incredible forever family

Yes, we sometimes get on each other's nerves and we don't understand one another perfectly, but we love each other fiercely, and will defend one another to the end. And best of all, we are sealed together for time and all eternity, and will be a family for all of this life, as well as the next.

2) My Savior and Heavenly Father

Even when no one, myself included, understands how I'm feeling or what I'm going through, they do.They want what is best for me, and even better, they know what that is and how to lead me to it. They have provided hope in the darkest of times, and I know that if I look to them, I will never be truly lost. God and Christ love me with a perfect love and, if I'll let them, they will guide me through even the roughest patches of life.

3) My amazing body

It's not perfect, in form or function, but there is still so much that I am capable of doing because of my amazing body. I can walk, talk, think, move, laugh, eat, dance, and type up this blog post because of this amazing gift I've been given. It can be immensely frustrating when my body has new limitations and I am left unable to do things I previously loved to do, but I am still so grateful for this gift and for all that I am able to do because of it.

Your turn.

Take a look around.

Push away the curtain of your despair, or the weight of your worries, or the cloud of your doubts.

And see all the things you have to be grateful for.

Hi, I'm a Mess

Sorry for the late post, but I have some pretty valid excuses, being that I was in the middle of summer term finals (boooo) and that my sister came home from her 18-month LDS mission this week (yay!!). Also, I'm a mess.

I don't say that to have you say "Oh no, you're fine!" or to try and put myself down.

It's simply the truth.

I am a mess because life is messy.

I have fears, both rational and irrational, that sometimes paralyze me.

I have chaos and disorganization in my life that sometimes comes as a direct result of my own actions and poor decisions.

I have emotional problems.

I am more fragile and weak than I used to be, and sometimes that makes me immensely frustrated.

I sometimes don't treat my family the way they deserve to be treated.

I sometimes don't treat myself the way I deserve to be treated.

I sometimes eat junk food for dinner.

I sometimes sit on my butt all day.

I often fall short.

I cry. A lot.

I'm a mess.

I think if you looked inside of me, it would look something like this:

That is a mess.

But you know what?

It's a colorful, wild, elaborate, beautiful mess.

And so am I.

I have issues.

Like, some big issues.

I'm not always strong.

I'm not always happy.

I make mistakes.

Big ones.

I'm a mess.

But I'm a glorious mess.

And I have a Savior who can take my mess and arrange it into something beautiful, if I just give Him the pieces.

It's okay that I'm a mess.

God wants me as I am, mess and all.

And he will turn my mess into a masterpiece.

Although We Know There's Much to Fear

Has anyone watched the news lately?
If you have, odds are pretty good you've seen something scary, tragic, or hopeless.

Sometimes I just think about the world we're living in.
There are people who think it's okay to hurt other people to get what they want.
There are people who try to inspire fear of other people.
There are people who lie and cheat and steal.
There are people who do terrible things, even taking the lives of others.
There is prejudice and greed and violence and danger.

It can be overwhelming sometimes.

When it gets to be too much, I try to remind myself of a couple of things:

1) There is just as much good in this world as there is bad,
if not more.

When it seems like the only thing to see is the darkness, open your eyes.
Choose to see the good in the world around you.
Remind yourself that this is a world that contains:

Fields of wildflowers
Belly laughs
Crazy patterned socks
Ice cream
Stained glass windows
Disney songs
Sunsets
Nail polish
Birdsong
Glitter
Violin solos
80-year-old couples
Charities
Hot chocolate

and countless other little joys and daily miracles.

Notice the good that influences your world, and use the good inside of you to influence others.

2) Fear is the opposite of faith, and both are a choice.

Yes, there are lots of things to be afraid of. No, being afraid doesn't make you a sinner. But you can choose to have faith, to believe in good things to come, You can choose to pray and believe you will be heard. You can choose to have faith that even the scary parts of this life are part of God's plan.

Or you can choose to give in to the darkness around you. You can choose to live your life looking over your shoulder. You can choose to focus on all of the things going wrong and buy into the lie that your future will consist of that and worse.


The movie The Prince of Egypt is one of my favorites, mainly because of the incredible music. There is one song that really hit home for me this week as I was listening to the soundtrack, and that is what inspired this post.

In "When You Believe," all of the lyrics touch on this subject perfectly, but I want to focus on one line in particular:

"We are not afraid, although we know there's much to fear."

Life is never going to stop throwing curveballs, disasters, and hellfire in your direction, but it won't stop throwing you miracles, friends, and opportunities either. The world will get darker in some places, but it will get lighter in others.

You can choose to move forward with faith,
to pick yourself off the ground when you get knocked down,
to hum a faith-filled song to drown out the threats thrown at you.

You can choose to not be afraid.