Hi, I'm a Mess

Sorry for the late post, but I have some pretty valid excuses, being that I was in the middle of summer term finals (boooo) and that my sister came home from her 18-month LDS mission this week (yay!!). Also, I'm a mess.

I don't say that to have you say "Oh no, you're fine!" or to try and put myself down.

It's simply the truth.

I am a mess because life is messy.

I have fears, both rational and irrational, that sometimes paralyze me.

I have chaos and disorganization in my life that sometimes comes as a direct result of my own actions and poor decisions.

I have emotional problems.

I am more fragile and weak than I used to be, and sometimes that makes me immensely frustrated.

I sometimes don't treat my family the way they deserve to be treated.

I sometimes don't treat myself the way I deserve to be treated.

I sometimes eat junk food for dinner.

I sometimes sit on my butt all day.

I often fall short.

I cry. A lot.

I'm a mess.

I think if you looked inside of me, it would look something like this:

That is a mess.

But you know what?

It's a colorful, wild, elaborate, beautiful mess.

And so am I.

I have issues.

Like, some big issues.

I'm not always strong.

I'm not always happy.

I make mistakes.

Big ones.

I'm a mess.

But I'm a glorious mess.

And I have a Savior who can take my mess and arrange it into something beautiful, if I just give Him the pieces.

It's okay that I'm a mess.

God wants me as I am, mess and all.

And he will turn my mess into a masterpiece.