Ladies, We Are Failing Our Men

I usually aim my posts toward girls (with this one exception), because we're the ones who suffer the most from unfair stereotypes, unrealistic expectations, and pressure from the media, right?

Wrong.

Females do not hold the only right to self-esteem struggles, negative body image, or damaging comparison to others.

Men have a lot stacked against them, too.

Ladies, picture the perfect man in your head.

Gentlemen, picture what you imagine that is to them.

I assume you came up with something along these lines:

Now let me ask you this:

What's the difference between expecting guys to look like Zac Efron and expecting girls to look like Megan Fox?

The girls are allowed to be upset about it.

Let me explain:

Girls, how many times have you heard/said that media is unrealistic/unattainable/puts pressure to look a certain way?

How many times have we as women joined together to reassure one another and help boost each other's self-esteem?

And how many times have guys done things like that?

Exactly.

There is no support there for guys who struggle to accept themselves.

And that needs to change.

A study at Bradley University dug into male body image, and it has a lot of good stuff in it (see the whole thing here), but this particular quote stood out to me:

"Men tend to seek treatment, counseling, or positive solutions less frequently, or they hold off on doing so out of shame and embarrassment."

 (Burlew & Shurts 2013)

How awful is that???

How would you feel if you found out a friend you love has been hiding her body image problems, resorting to eating disorders and other extreme measures to try and change the way she looked to fit the ideal that is in her head?

Horrible, right?

Well, what about the guys?

"95% of college age men are dissatisfied with their bodies on some level.” 

(Daniel & Bridges 2013)

Girls!!! 

We need to do something about this!

I want you right now to thing of a guy you love.

It can be your little brother, your dad, a friend from your childhood, your boyfriend, your fiance, your husband, your nephew, your grandpa.

I want you to picture the times they made you feel warm and safe and loved.

Remember the times they helped you know that you were great just the way you are.

Now I want you to think of what you can do to help them feel that way too.

Everyone deserves to know they are amazing and loved and beautiful and incredible exactly as they are.

Men included.

Ladies, it's time to step up to the plate.

We've gotten better at supporting one another and helping each other feel loved and beautiful and confident; now it's the guys' turn.

Guys, you are incredible.

You are talented.

You are handsome.

You are loved beyond comprehension by the King of Kings.

You are amazing just as you are.

I promise.

Burlew, Larry D., and W. Matthew Shurts. “Men and Body Image: Current Issues and Counseling Implications.” Journal of Counseling & Development 91.4? (2013): 428-435. EBSCOhost Business Source Elite. PDF file. 8 July 2015.

Daniel, Samantha, and Sara K. Bridges. “The Relationships Among Body Image, Masculinity, and Sexual Satisfaction in Men.” Psychology of Men & Masculinity 14.4 (2013): 345-351. EBSCOhost. PDF file. 27 June 2015.