Last week I had a meeting with a professor of mine, and I had to bring 5 questions for me to ask him and 2 questions for him to ask me. The only parameters? It has to have something to do with Young Adult Fiction.
I decided to take advantage of the fact that my professor was a published YA author and get his opinion on my query letter. So I looked at literary agents, picked one, carefully read the requirements for querying that agent, and wrote up a drafted e-mail for my professor to look over.
I printed it out, but of course left it at home. So my professor was reading it on my little iPhone screen, and to my delight, he had lots of good things to say about it!
I was so excited, and I took my phone back from him,
and my thumb brushed "Send."
I'm 100% sure that God has a sense of humor. And I'm 100% sure He was smiling when this happened, because that gif is 100% my reaction.
But you know what?
I can't unsend the email.
Worst case: she doesn't answer, and she doesn't end up being my agent, and she's not the one who will get my book published.
Best case: she replies saying she wants to know more about my book, and while I am waiting to see if she does, I am more pressured to hurry up and get it finished.
I think Bob Ross hits the nail right on the head:
Maybe something good will come of this.
Maybe it won't.
Either way, I don't think it was a mistake or even a true accident.
It was a) a confirmation to me that I can do this - I can query agents and advocate for my book, and b) an extra push for me to get this book done (I only have 34 days left after all).
1) I will never say anything close to "in my experience..."
2) I will try to be as transparent and frank as possible, but I will NOT be vulgar nor go into unnecessary detail.
3) I will base all of my words on the doctrine of Jesus Christ.
Be aware though, that this is a post about sex, so if you'd rather not read it, or rather not have your son or daughter read it, that's up to you.
Please also note that I am not a medical professional, and all questions and personal situations can and should be taken to your doctor or another medical professional.
The truth is, a LOT of people (particularly Mormons) approach sex virtually clueless.
And that can be terrifying.
I think we've all felt that panic and fear of humiliation that comes with doing something we've never done before. Now imagine you know nothing about this thing. And the person you care the absolute most about is there to witness your first attempt.
This is how a lot of people (Mormon girls especially) feel about first-time sex. And that's something I'm hoping to help with.
So, without further ado,
1) It is a wonderful, God-given gift.
Sex is not bad. Sex is not bad. SEX IS NOT BAD.
I feel like I have to say it a million times, because too many people grow up with so many "don't even think about it" or "it's a sin!" kind of atmospheres, and that's simply not healthy.
Sex is wonderful. It is most definitely not a sin, but rather a way to keep a God-given covenant, that is, if you are using sex within the parameters God has set.
This quote is from one of the best talks in the worldby President Boyd K. Packer, and EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ/LISTEN TO IT. I'm serious. Stop reading this blog post right now to bookmark it or watch it and then come back to my list. I'll wait.
2) You need to understand your own body.
I took Anatomy as a requirement for when I was a Dance Major, and I think every single person should be required take it.
This is YOUR body. God's gift to you.
It's important for your to understand its parts and how they work. It's important to know what a healthy body does and how you can keep it healthy. It's important to love your body and not be ashamed of it.
Here are some educational, academic-based places where you can learn about your body and its functions, as well as the basics of pregnancy.
Women, don't fear though! It's not like you'll be in agony.
Here's an explanation from the National Health Service:
"When a woman has vaginal sex for the first time, it can be a little painful. There may also be a small amount of blood, but this isn't always the case and usually occurs because the hymen has been broken during sexual intercourse.
The hymen is a small piece of thin skin (membrane) that can either partially or totally cover the entrance to the vagina."
The National Health Service also offers suggestions to help with this: go slowly, have plenty of lubrication, and build up to it with foreplay (sexual stimulation - kissing, touching, etc.)
In addition, you can get expanders from your doctor to help prepare you and stretch out the hymen.
4) There are TONS of birth control options.
Most people know about "the pill," but there are lots of other contraceptives out there! And there are multiple versions of the pill too! You can go here for a list of contraception options and descriptions, courtesy of Canyon View Women's Care. Talk with your doctor to find the right one for you! Also be advised that birth control can take a few months to "kick in," so consider this if you are engaged, etc.
5) Sexual relations should only exist between a man and a woman, legally and lawfully wedded.
This is what I believe. This is what God has decreed.
And this is the approach to sex that will result in the most happiness.
6) Communication is key.
You have to be comfortable talking to your future spouse. About anything.
I'm not saying that you should discuss sexual details before you are married, but you should approach the topic of contraception together, and have some basic understandings of expectations.
Further, you should plan on communicating your way through your sexual encounters. Say what feels good and what doesn't. Direct your partner; speak up if you don't like something or if you do.
It will be a much better experience for both of you if you communicate fully.
7) The details of sex are completely personal to you and your spouse.
This means a) you should never discuss anything about your and your spouse's sexual life with anyone, with the exception of medical professionals. And b) whatever you and your spouse decide (as directed by the Spirit) is what is right for you two. There are no set expectations of duration, frequency, or sexual experiences. That is entirely between you, your spouse, and God.
I hope this was helpful and informative.
Please remember to turn to more professional sources for specific questions and concerns, and PLEASE REMEMBER how much God loves you and that sex is part of His beautiful Plan of Happiness.
If you've seen my I am Brave; I am Bruised post, you know that I struggle with skin conditions and that it sometimes makes me struggle to accept my own face.
Yesterday, I was really feeling this.
I have not gotten any better; in fact, I've gotten worse. And I was just fed up and feeling ugly and frustrated.
My hubby came home, saw me on the couch in the dark watching The Office and eating Cadbury mini eggs, and came and held me, asking what was wrong.
I told him how I was feeling, cried (again), and he snuggled me and joked with me and told me, holding my face,
"This is mine."
I laughed and he asked if I had ever seen this Ted talk. I had not.
He showed it to me, and his words took on more meaning:
In that moment, Kyle was the painter.
He owned my face.
The same thing could be said of those of you who left sweet comments in response to my original post.
You owned my face.
You accepted it.
You chose to love it as it is.
And that's what I have to do.
I have to choose to love my face,
to accept it,
to own it.
That doesn't mean I won't get frustrated with it,
or have bad days where I feel ugly,
or wish my face wasn't the way it was.
But I can choose to accept my face for what it is:
I'm sure by now you've heard about the insanely good, revolutionary movie Blank Panther.
If not, maybe it's time to seek real estate somewhere besides underneath a rock.
For real though, this movie is amazing.
It is so empowering.
I may be white, but I know how it feels to see someone being a hero on screen and think: "They're like me." That's what Wonder Woman was for me: it showed me how strong a woman could be, how strong she IS.
Not only does this movie do an excellent job of celebrating African culture, but it also emphasizes the strength of women and the strength found in masculine defeat.
In short, it is AWESOME.
To celebrate, I wanted to make a quiz so you could find out which kick-butt character from Blank Panther is most like you!
