Long-Distance Relationship Survival Guide

K have you ever met the most amazing person to ever exist, and by some miracle they like you too, and you decide hey let's be weird together forever, and then you have to be patient for 10 weeks while they go be a genius over 1,000 miles away?

Alright, that might be a bit specific, but I'm hoping this survival guide (listed in no particular order) will help with anyone who has a loved one far away, be that a best friend, a sibling, or a significant other.

1) Facetime

Ok, whoever invented this (Skype counts too) is actually the best. It's one thing to get to hear a loved one's voice, but to actually talk to them face to face when hundreds or thousands of miles separate you? Ah it's the best.

Kyle and I Facetime every night, and there is no other part of my day more guaranteed to make me smile.

I also utilized Facetime a lot when I was on my own for the first time my freshman year of college - all that time talking to my parents really helped me not feel alone or like I was facing this new world without backup.

2) Snapchat Filters

My mom is the queen of Snapchat, so it makes sense that I would be pretty dang good at ridiculous and/or ugly snaps myself. (Random rant: why are there next to no ugly/funny filters anymore??? I don't need 14 different kinds of animal ears with huge eyes. I need something that will distort my face to look like a grumpy troll or a unicorn puking rainbows or something).

 

Honestly though, Snapchat rocks. I send Kyle an ugly good morning snap every morning, and we snap throughout the day to each other. It's a simple way to feel involved in someone's life, even if they're far away, and there are few accomplishments more satisfying than a sky-high snap streak.

3) Prayer

Oh, heavens (pun intended), this is important. You were never meant to go through hard times alone. God is waiting to help you out, to give you ways to strengthen your relationship even if you can't be beside each other.

The closest I have ever felt to my sister was when the only interaction we had was e-mailing once a week on her mission. I prayed to know what best to talk to her about (I didn't want to talk about worldly things that would make her unfocused or feel left out, but I wanted to let her know what was going on in my life), and she was so close to the Spirit that she would e-mail me specific impressions she had, like that I needed to go on a date that week or that she had a feeling that my late Great Grandma Larsen had been hanging around me lately.

Prayer creates bridges where nothing else can - from your bedroom to heaven, and from you to wherever your loved one is. Pray together even!! It's amazing how the Spirit can knit you together even from 1,000 miles away.

4) Stuff To Do

As hard as an LDR is, it's wayyyyy worse if you're just sitting around waiting for your bff or S.O. to come back. (I'm done with the acronyms now, I promise).

Get involved! Get active! Get learning! Get moving!

I've been lucky to have my head and days filled with school, work, my sister's wedding, my own wedding, and a handful of other goals and endeavors to keep me from going crazy, and I know that an active schedule is necessary for me to function. Trust me, it is not pretty if I have too much free time alone with my thoughts and worries and feelings of missing him.

So do meal planning! Go walking once a week with your gal pal or Mom or roommate. Set aside time each day devoted to reading a book you've never read before. Find a local yoga class to attend, or volunteer at your community center.

There are so many worthy awesome causes you can use to help mask (not fill, never fill) the void your loved one's location has left in you. So go find some! Talk to your friend/boyfriend/parent about what you're doing! Heck, even find a way to do something together despite the distance! It'll help soooo much, I promise!

5) Confidence and Trust

Listen up, y'all. Distance makes zero difference in the quality of a relationship unless you let it. This goes both ways: if you don't allow the LDR experience to strengthen your relationship, it's not gonna happen. Same goes for if you let doubts and laziness get in the way of a successful relationship.

Be confident in this relationship. It's worked so far, so why should it decline now? There are so many reasons why distance is a non-issue, and although it does suck in several ways, there are some awesome benefits too. Like learning to be more independent, taking a step back to see how you really feel about someone, stretching yourself to new sacrifices and limits, or gaining a new perspective.

You have to believe that you are just as valued to this person from far away as you were when they were close by. And you have to trust them to be true and loving and make the best decisions they can, even if you aren't there with them. 

A long-distance relationship is no less valid, loving, strong, or healthy as a local one.

So don't fall into the trap of believing it is.

Long distance doesn't have to be the end of the world!

It can be not only bearable, but full of good things!

You're Not Ready

It could be because I've had some pretty huge life changes recently, but I've been thinking a lot about whether or not I'm ready for these new roles and adventures and responsibilities.

It can be nerve wracking to stand at the edge of something and feel unprepared.

But as I've thought about this, I've come to realize something.

You're not ready.

You never are.

Did you feel ready when you started high school?

Or got your first job?

What about when you babysat for the first time?

For those of you to whom this applies, were you ready to get married? To have kids?

I bet you anything that your answer was no.

But it's OK.

Because you don't have to be ready.

You're never going to be ready. For anything in your life.

You never know what twists and turns are ahead or where God will have better plans than you (hint: it's always).

You're never going to be ready to move across the country, or get married, or become a parent, or any of those other huge things that will rock your world.

But take courage,

because you don't have to be ready.

You just need faith.

You don't have to major in business to start up your own.

You don't have to read every parenting book in the world before starting your family.

You don't have to know everything there is to know about relationships to get married.

You don't have to be ready.

Hold to what you know, trust in what you can do, and have faith that He will make up the difference.

I Hate That Guy

I know hate is strong word, but I mean it, and I just need to vent about this guy for a bit.

He makes me feel like this a lot:

His name is Satan - maybe you've heard of him - and he is absolutely the

WORST.

But, no worries.

I'm going to tell you how to kick his butt all the way back to the you-know-where he came from.

Reasons Satan Sucks #1

First off, he is always putting me down.

He tells me that I'm not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, anything enough.

It is all ridiculous, but he is really good at being convincing, and sometimes I even find myself starting to believe him.

Ways I'm Going to Kick Satan's Butt #1

Every time he tries to convince me otherwise, I am going to straight up be like "Nuh-uh, Satan. I know I'm beautiful and strong and awesome, and you're just jealous because you ain't never getting a body so you can just shut your non-existent face."

Reasons Satan Sucks #2

Secondly, he makes me feel overwhelmed.

He takes my To-do list, puts everything on there twice, and highlights 2/3rds of it as stuff that has to get done today, along with underlining 50 things that, if I don't do, make me a terrible human being.

He piles all of these things on top of me until I feel like I'm not strong enough to lift even one.

Ways I'm Going to Kick Satan's Butt #2

When Satan tries this move on me, first I'm going to remind myself that I don't have to do everything, nor does anyone (including Heavenly Father) expect me to. Next, I'm going to remind myself that heck yeah I can do hard things. I can do a lot of hard things. I got this.

Reasons Satan Sucks #3

Satan also sucks because he makes me second-guess everything ever.

It doesn't matter how sure I've been in the past, whether I've gotten a peaceful confirmation from God, or whether I know for a fact that this is the right decision.

He will still try and convince me otherwise, make me feel like I'm not capable of making the right decision, or make me doubt what I already know to be true.

Ways I'm Going to Kick Satan's Butt #3

This scripture is my phone's lock screen, to help me remember not to doubt that which I have already received a witness of.

I also try to remember that the better something is, and the more aligned it is with Heavenly Father's plan for me, the more the devil is going to try and make me not go through with it.

So it only makes since that now, when I'm pursuing the greatest most wonderful thing that I ever could, Satan is pulling out all the stops.

Don't ever buy into Satan's lies.

You are amazing.

You are capable.

You know what is right.

He sucks, and he's going to do his best to make you forget about the loving God and Savior who are always there to help you and understand you and remind you who you are when the devil tries to make you forget.

Satan, I've got one thing left to say to you:

Finding Piece

I promise I know how to spell. I've just been thinking about peace a lot lately and I've realized something that I thought I'd share.

First off, when I get stressed out, my insides feel like this:

Or I feel like this:

I feel undone, out of control, 

like I'm falling apart or on the brink of doing so.

Even on good days, when I feel put together, I'm still like a puzzle - I'm still in pieces. Though they are secure for now, there is always the possibility of them coming apart again.

You know what would be great?

If I was a one-piece puzzle.

If I accepted all the different parts of me as

ME.

If I could find true peace by keeping myself always in one piece.

I'm not saying that I want to jut be one thing, or that I don't want anything bad or stressful or difficult to come my way. But I do want that feeling of oneness, of connectivity, that feeling that despite the chaos going on around me, I am stable.

I want to be a mountain, not a pile of rocks.

Luckily, there is a way to find this peace.

Right now my fiancé is 1,126 miles away.

That sucks.

I'm so happy that he has this internship opportunity, but the whole in pieces thing is a bit harder to overcome now.

But, thankfully, I have a Heavenly Father who knows just how to give me peace.

I went to the temple with a dear friend yesterday, and the entire time I was there (and even now!) this is how I feel:

No scribbles, no puzzle pieces precariously put together, no unwinding or falling apart.

Just one peaceful piece.

Turn to the Lord for peace.

When things feel stressful or hard, ask for the Holy Ghost to bring you comfort. As the Comforter, He will be more than happy to do His job.