Long-Distance Relationship Survival Guide

K have you ever met the most amazing person to ever exist, and by some miracle they like you too, and you decide hey let's be weird together forever, and then you have to be patient for 10 weeks while they go be a genius over 1,000 miles away?

Alright, that might be a bit specific, but I'm hoping this survival guide (listed in no particular order) will help with anyone who has a loved one far away, be that a best friend, a sibling, or a significant other.

1) Facetime

Ok, whoever invented this (Skype counts too) is actually the best. It's one thing to get to hear a loved one's voice, but to actually talk to them face to face when hundreds or thousands of miles separate you? Ah it's the best.

Kyle and I Facetime every night, and there is no other part of my day more guaranteed to make me smile.

I also utilized Facetime a lot when I was on my own for the first time my freshman year of college - all that time talking to my parents really helped me not feel alone or like I was facing this new world without backup.

2) Snapchat Filters

My mom is the queen of Snapchat, so it makes sense that I would be pretty dang good at ridiculous and/or ugly snaps myself. (Random rant: why are there next to no ugly/funny filters anymore??? I don't need 14 different kinds of animal ears with huge eyes. I need something that will distort my face to look like a grumpy troll or a unicorn puking rainbows or something).

 

Honestly though, Snapchat rocks. I send Kyle an ugly good morning snap every morning, and we snap throughout the day to each other. It's a simple way to feel involved in someone's life, even if they're far away, and there are few accomplishments more satisfying than a sky-high snap streak.

3) Prayer

Oh, heavens (pun intended), this is important. You were never meant to go through hard times alone. God is waiting to help you out, to give you ways to strengthen your relationship even if you can't be beside each other.

The closest I have ever felt to my sister was when the only interaction we had was e-mailing once a week on her mission. I prayed to know what best to talk to her about (I didn't want to talk about worldly things that would make her unfocused or feel left out, but I wanted to let her know what was going on in my life), and she was so close to the Spirit that she would e-mail me specific impressions she had, like that I needed to go on a date that week or that she had a feeling that my late Great Grandma Larsen had been hanging around me lately.

Prayer creates bridges where nothing else can - from your bedroom to heaven, and from you to wherever your loved one is. Pray together even!! It's amazing how the Spirit can knit you together even from 1,000 miles away.

4) Stuff To Do

As hard as an LDR is, it's wayyyyy worse if you're just sitting around waiting for your bff or S.O. to come back. (I'm done with the acronyms now, I promise).

Get involved! Get active! Get learning! Get moving!

I've been lucky to have my head and days filled with school, work, my sister's wedding, my own wedding, and a handful of other goals and endeavors to keep me from going crazy, and I know that an active schedule is necessary for me to function. Trust me, it is not pretty if I have too much free time alone with my thoughts and worries and feelings of missing him.

So do meal planning! Go walking once a week with your gal pal or Mom or roommate. Set aside time each day devoted to reading a book you've never read before. Find a local yoga class to attend, or volunteer at your community center.

There are so many worthy awesome causes you can use to help mask (not fill, never fill) the void your loved one's location has left in you. So go find some! Talk to your friend/boyfriend/parent about what you're doing! Heck, even find a way to do something together despite the distance! It'll help soooo much, I promise!

5) Confidence and Trust

Listen up, y'all. Distance makes zero difference in the quality of a relationship unless you let it. This goes both ways: if you don't allow the LDR experience to strengthen your relationship, it's not gonna happen. Same goes for if you let doubts and laziness get in the way of a successful relationship.

Be confident in this relationship. It's worked so far, so why should it decline now? There are so many reasons why distance is a non-issue, and although it does suck in several ways, there are some awesome benefits too. Like learning to be more independent, taking a step back to see how you really feel about someone, stretching yourself to new sacrifices and limits, or gaining a new perspective.

You have to believe that you are just as valued to this person from far away as you were when they were close by. And you have to trust them to be true and loving and make the best decisions they can, even if you aren't there with them. 

A long-distance relationship is no less valid, loving, strong, or healthy as a local one.

So don't fall into the trap of believing it is.

Long distance doesn't have to be the end of the world!

It can be not only bearable, but full of good things!